World's gone to pot!
by jackieboii
Summary: AU, Jack Harkness, survivor of Canary Wharf, flirting extravagant, needs Torchwood 3 but will Torchwood 3 need him?
1. Chapter 1

**AN:/ Hey hope you enjoy this chapter its just a really short opening to the story but if you enjoy it and reviews and favourites are involved ;) i will post the next chapter up in 24 hours and it will be like practically 5x longer! hope you enjoy :) and as i said before reviews are greatly appreciated!**

**Summary- AU, Jack Harkness, survivor of Canary Wharf, flirting extravagant, needs Torchwood 3 but will Torchwood 3 need him?**

**Epilogue**

It was a dark night, in the cold mist, of Bute Park. Empty, no one's around to hear the howls of a fowl creature;a weevil. Out on a hunt away from the sewers. It didn't belong here. Not just in the park but on the planet. Although neither did the strange man, clad in a suit, following close behind, with a large spray can in his hand. Whatever the man was planning, definately looked easier said than done.

After minutes of waiting, the weevil finally realised the welshman, stood watching by the big oak tree. his dark old eyes contrasting with his young face. The weevil soon gets bored of watching and attacks hoping for an early evening meal.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN:/ Okay so i lied... i actually couldn't wait till tommorow so yeh!**_

_**Rule 1) I'm a compulsive liar! never trust anything i say!**_

_**Rule 2) I'm always so for spelling mistakes... even though i'm an AMAZING SPELLER! (SEE COMPULSIVE LIAR! haha)**_

**Summary- AU, Jack Harkness, survivor of Canary Wharf, flirting extravagant, needs Torchwood 3 but will Torchwood 3 need him?**

**Chapter 1**

Jack Harkness knew that tonight was the nght. his equipment from london picked up the movement outside the sewer openings close by his flat. Weevil alert. This was his chance. He couldn't waste anymore time moping about. He could help the welshman out, mention the weevils, maybe even the rift? although that may be pushing it abit. He'd planned the whole thing out. Get in, save the damsel(a.k.a. Welshman), kill the beast and join the team.

_What could happen, when a dashing hero like me is on the case?_

Spoken too soon. The moment Jack got to bute park he followed the sounds of agonizing screams mixed with chuckling. What if he was too late? As he turned the corner of the park he saw two dark figures between the trees. To any normal bypassers it just looked like two men having a drunken brawl in the local park but Jack knew better. Realising he no longer held a weapon, he grabbed the first object in his sight. With a big run up Jack got to the weevil, just before he ripped the welshman's throat out, and whackedhim with as much power as possible. Unfortunately for jack that just got the weevil's attention. Maybe this wasn't his best idea... there was a sudden gasp causing the weevil to turn at the sound ignoring Jack completely, to suddenly be sprayed by the one man he thought he'd just lost. The weevil was down and jack was stood there staring shocked at the welshman.

'Captain Jack Harkness.' he stuck out his hand hoping to make a good impression.

'Jones, Ianto Jones...' The welshman replied politely shaking his hand.

'Nice to meet you Jones, Ianto Jones... Lucky escape.' _Maybe going for the naive passerby is more effective so long as i don't drink anything... Retcon and all... good to stay safe._

'I had it under control.' the welshman responded sharply.

'you think so... it looked pretty vicious... you're urm...' Jack slowly held his arm out to check that the young man's neck, that was covered in blood, was okay. Just to recieve a flinch before he could pull the collar away. 'You were bleeding.'

'Had worse from shaving...' The welshman smirked.

'Looked like a weevil bite to me.' Ianto's head snapped up at the name and Jack noticed inwardly smirking to himself.

'I've no idea what you're talking about.' he lied ' i'll take him from here... Thank you for the assistance.' he quickly shoved the weevil over his shoulder smirked to the young man and left for the SUV.

'Anytime.' Jack replied before continuing. ' by the way love the suit...' he began to chuckle as the welshman faultered in his steps. soon after the welshman had gone Jack also left wallking back to his flat just around the corner from the hub. Most likely Mr. Jones would be searching him up tonight and the rift should be quiet for another few hours if his kit from London is correct. Tommorow he would meet the welshman once more, proposing his business proposition. Not long now. His plans are coming together perfectly. Soon she will be back to her normal self;human.

**TWTWTW**

It was early morning by the time Jack arrived at the Roald Dahl Plas and he needed to make a good impression. he knew from various CCTV footage of the recent weeks that Mr Jones would be heading out of the small tourist information centre in around an hours time. giving him a chance to visit Starbucks, and considering the time of day he could probably grab the welshman one too. With his coffee's in hand the captain continued his journey to the tourist office, which to his relief, released one Ianto Jones.

'Coffee?' Jack held out the coffee hoping for the welshman to take, which after a few seconds of contemplation did.

Nodding his head and taking in all the flavours he began to comment. 'Not bad...Although I still prefer my own...' he quickly passed Jack the cup back to which Jack thought it was his turn to talk.

'I want to work for you.' he blurted out confidently.

'Sorry no vacancies.' was the welshmans reply, it seemed he was expected the question, and his reply was something Jack did not expect.

'Look let me tell you about myself.' he persisted.

'Captain Jack Harkness. Born August 19, 1983. Able student but not exceptional. One minor conviction for shoplifting in your teens.' ianto continued to walk along the path, blurting out all the information he found from his search from only hours before. 'Number of temporary jobs. mainly a drifter until two years ago, you joined the Torchwood institute in London, senior field agent, girlfriend Lisa Hallet.'

'Deceased.' Jack interupted quickly.

'sorry.'

'look you checked me out.' Jack quickly jumped infront of the young man stopping him in his step.

'you knew what a weevil was. I thought I was going to have to come... deal with you...' he explained.

'but instead you can see that I have the right qualifications for the job.' he smiled.

'There is no job. We're nothing to do with torchwood London. I sethered all links.' Ianto quickly pushed past the man in his way picking up a stride, only to be spoken to again.

'Yet when it burnt... two memebers of your team scavenged the ruins...' he persisted again.

'We don't want the equipment getting into the wrong hands.'

'And you're the right hands, are you?' Jack questioned slowly, only to recieve no answer he continued. 'Trial period, three months?'

'No.' he deadpanned.

'Three weeks... Three days... let me prove to you. I'll work for nothing.' Jack was getting desperate and it was obvious. Yet the welshman just continued to walk. 'I saw what they did at Canary Wharf... What am I supposed to do with those memories?!'

Ianto just sighed. 'You are not my responsibility...and we're not hiring!' He clarified pushing past once more.

'Same time tomorrow then.' Jack persisted.

'There's no job for you here and there never will be!' he repeated.

'I really like that suit...' Jack repeated from the previous night.

**TWTWTW**

It was a late weekday night and Ianto was speeding through the streets in search of a weevil. Until the last person he wanted to see stepped onto the road in front of them. With a sudden stop Ianto jumped out of the car with a slam of the door. 'Okay, this has got to stop.'

'No listen to me...' Jack replied calmly to only be interupted by an angry welshman.

'I don't have time for this. Look, I don't care what your problem is. I want you out of the city by sunrise. There is no place for you here. Go back to London find yourself another life. keep stalking me and i'll wipe your memory!'

'No but the thing is you see-'

'Any conversation between us, no matter what the subject, is over! Finished! Done! Forever. I'm getting back behind the wheel of that car... If your still standing in the road... I'm going to drive through you.' wth his rant clearly over, Ianto turned back towards the SUV.

'So i'm guessing you ain't gonna help me catch this pterodactyl then?' He questioned quickly causing the welshman's head to turn in interest.

_BINGO!_

**_AN:/ did you enjoy it? is it worth continuing cause if not i'll try starting another and just scrap this one :/ please REVIEW!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary- AU, Jack Harkness, survivor of Canary Wharf, flirting extravagant, needs Torchwood 3 but will Torchwood 3 need him?**

**Chapter 2**

Ianto rummaged through the SUV grabbing a sedative and a small syringe as Jack began to complain. 'That's all the special equipment you have?'

All Ianto could do was slowly retort. 'Yes because I really keep dinosaur nets in the back of the SUV...'

'Well Torchwood london did.' Jack replied smirking to himself.

Ianto just shook his head in exasperation before jogging towards the warehouse entrance and bursting through the door. As soon as they stood inside the warehouse, a wild and by the looks of it, very hungry pterodactyl swooped down towards the two men.

Jack let out a quiet 'nope' dragging the welshman back outside.

Both panting Ianto began to question. 'How'd you find it?'

Jack began to chuckle before answering. 'Rift activity locator.'

Ianto understood straight away. 'Torchwood London?'

'See! Quality Kit!' Jack teased.

'That's quite exciteable...' Ianto deadpanned.

Seeing his chance Jack replied. 'So's the aftershave...'

'Never wear any...' He shrugged.

'You smell like that naturally?' He questioned.

'51st century pheromones... you people have no idea...' Chuckling to himself, Ianto then continued, 'Ready for another go?'

'I'm game if you are...'

Counting down from 3 the door burst open and the two men split only to join again away from the rampaging dinosaur, screaming like children as they grabbed each other for comfort.

Ianto soon let go of the captain and began tiptoeing towards the whining dinosaur. Soothing the creature with quiet words of comfort. 'We're not going to harm you... You can't stay here... Come back with me?', He chuckled quietly, 'I've got somewhere nice and big where you can fly around.' As the welshman admired the creature Jack stared on in disbelief.

'So you'll let the pterodactyl in and not me?!'

'We need a guard dog!' was the stern reply.

To which Jack responded without hesitation. 'I can be that! A security guard... Like a receptionist? maybe some building maintenance? I'll do your paperwork? I could even take your suits to the dry cleaner?' He begged.

'We don't need a dry cleaner!' the weshman spat.

'Those suits of yours must take a battering...' Jack suggested.

Ianto was quite surprised by the man's persistent hints towards a job but he noticed the need to joing through his eyes as he begged. _Why was it so important to him? After everything that happened at canary Wharf. What drove the man to stay?_ 'We don't need a dry cleaner!'

'Excuse me, dried egg on your collar!' He whispered trying not to disturb the uneasy creature, infront of them.

'It was a busy week!' Ianto interjected defensively.

Jack just chuckled at the welshman quietly. 'What exactly is your plan?'

'I'm going to be the decoy.'

'Right and it will rip you to shreds...' Jack interupted sternly.

'Dinosaurs? Had 'em for breakfast. Had to. Only source of pre-cooked food protein after the asteroid crashed...' he stared blankly at Jack before continuing. 'Long story... here you go.' he whispered holding out the syringe 'One injection to the central nervous cortex. I'll keep it occupied... Go!' he exclaimed, slapping Jack on the back.

'No!'

'What?!'

'It knows me better. I'll be a better decoy.'

'It's way too dangerous.' Was Ianto's ownly reply, who was quickly countered by the captain.

'I'm trained in the field!Besides, i've got a secret weapon.' Smirking at the welshman, as he raised his eyebrows in question. Reaching into his own pocket he pulled out the object in question face deadly straight, whispering 'Chocolate; Preferably dark.'

'Why thank you.' Ianto smirked as he switched the two objects, turning towards the creature before replying, to the confused american. 'Like you said... You're trained in the field.'

*whistle whistle*

'I've got your favourite...' The welshman exclaimed as he teased Jack's choclate towards the extravagant creature as Jack ever so carefully crept up behind. 'It's err... Good for your serotonin levels... If you've... well... got serotonin levels.' But with a failed distraction and a screeching pterodactyl carrying a screaming Jack around the warehouse, Ianto soon realised where he was and what was heading straight towards him.

'Ianto!' Jack screeched as he finally injected the flying creature as he plunged down on top of his dashing welshman. With both men chuckling at the situation Jack only just saw the pterodactyl also heading right for them, dragging himself and the young man to roll over before the crash. Both men, face to face, or as some may see it nose on nose, with the atmosphere electric, both men breathing heavily at the near death experience and both feeling the deep connection.

'You should go.' _There it was! All over again... That wall that prevented him from meeting anyone that he could possibly love. Jack included_. Pushing himself up, Ianto stood waiting for the american to get up and leave.

As Jack stood and slowly walked towards the door, he began to realise he'd failed. Heck if a pterodactyl didn't get him in, nothing will.

'Hey, report for work, first thing tomorrow... Like the coat by the way.'

He was in.

**AN:/ What did you think?**

**Just want to say thanks to Bannanas-are-good for the review really appreciate the enthusiasm! and thanks to Jules69 for the follow hope you all enjoy the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary- AU, Jack Harkness, survivor of Canary Wharf, flirting extravagant, needs Torchwood 3 but will Torchwood 3 need him?**

**Chapter 3**

Day one at Torchwood Cardiff.

Jack had been heving nightmares all night, images of Lisa and the machinery that surrounded her body like impenetratable armour. Her screaching cries filled his head as blood trickled down her face. By 6AM he welcomed the alarm that woke him from the nightmares. However he soon began to realise that his new sexy boss never gave him a time to arrive. It seemed that his head was just filled with questions at the moment.

In an hours time Jack was clean, dressed specially in his WW1 coat, and out of the house, on his way to the nearest bakery in search of a pasty. Making sure to also buy an extra for the new boss, he continued on his journey to the plas.

So far his day was going well... at least he hoped it was, however the clock hadn't even struck 7:30 yet. _Try not to jinx it! _After a few minutues of walking he soon approached the hidden tourist office on the edge of the plas. Where a certainly hot welshman stood waiting, sipping a steaming cup of coffee.

'Morning!' Ianto exclaimed, as he handed Jack the extra coffee mug in his hand, in which Jack accepted gratefully before offering the pasty he'd bought in exchange.

'Sorry... am I late? Shit, way to go Harkness... Already screwed things up and you've barely started!' He whispered.

'Quite the opposite sir... I didnt expect to see you for atleast another 2 hours... I mean that's around the time everyone else traipses in.' Ianto stated, turning towards the door. 'You coming captain or are you going to continue staring at my bum in the cold?'

Gulping Jack quickly followed as he realised he'd been caught. Time for some Harkness charm it seems. 'As long as i'm still allowed to stare at in the warmth sure... by the way love the suit.' He winked as he saw the welshman roll him eyes in exasperation.

'While your here I may as well give you a tour...' The welshman dramatically moved behind the desk to push a dull black button, that activated the hidden door.

'Ooooh. very cliche... let me guess James Bond fan? Although its concrete not a bookcase and your pressing buttons instead of pulling out a book... Either way you can push or pull me anyway you like.'

Coughing Ianto soon addressed the matter at hand. 'Right, so in you go, Ladies first...'

'What a gentleman, but I really do like looking at your butt yunno.'

All Ianto could do was glare at the new member with an unimpressed stare.

'Sorry, just a little nevous...' he quickly gulped down the rest of his coffee and walked infront of the welshman through the hidden doorway only to stop seconds into his entry causing Ianto to bump into his back. 'Wow.'

'What?'

'You were right... This coffee really is better than any starbucks I have ever had! God, you are a man of many hidden talents, Ianto Jones.'

'With many years of practise you tend to get good at certain skills.' He winked before giving the Captain a small shove forwards to continue the journey.

'Now who's flirting?!'

'What can I say? It's addictive! Ah Here we are, Captain Jack harkness, i'd like you to meet Torchwood London!' Ianto loudly introduced as the cog wheel door rolled open and the alarm started to bleep.

'Wow. It's very... different to London. I'll give you that. Not exactly what I was expecting but yeh...AHHHH!' Suddenly a very familiar screeching sound surrounded the whole base as a flying dinosaur swept through the Hub heading straight towards the men, with seconds to spare before swooping back up to the ceiling and landing in what seemed to be a bunker.

Ianto couldn't stop laughing at the other mans reaction as he watch the pterodactyl fly back to its nest. 'I do believe you have already met Myfanwy...'

'Myfanwy? That's what you named it?' Jack questioned quietly as his pulse rate returned to normal.

'Well were are in wales. I am welsh. Why not? Now then let me give you the rest of the tour before the others join us...'

**AN:/ Thanks for reading hope you enjoy :) **

**Just wanted to say thanks to Aya2013 for the review :) Hope you enjoy the next chapter! please follow, fav or even review! it will make my day! :P**


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